Thursday, February 25, 2010

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Narcissistic Jesus-loving pickup?

Besides the Jesus apparently beaming the lighthouse beam onto the truck (thereby ensuring the deaths of many, many people piloting boats), that appears to be a picture of the truck BEARING this picture. So this truck is basically telling us that Jesus loves it way more than everyone at sea. That is one full-of-itself truck.

Or maybe it's the guy who owns the truck who's full of himself. Either one.

(edited to blur out license plate. should've done that first. d'oh.)

Monday, February 22, 2010

Stamp of approval.

Or stamp of weird-perspective quasi-claymation horror.

I cut this off of an old Christmas card envelope years ago, just in case it ever came in handy. Who knew that it would?

Is it me, or does baby Jesus look like Orel Puppington? Which I suppose is fitting.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

God bless the USA.

The "Made in China" tag adds a nice bit of irony to the message, no?

(Can I just tell you, rhinestones are a BITCH to photograph, especially through cellophane. Yes, this beauty is a part of my personal collection. I don't want to take it out of the packaging - that destroys its value!)

Friday, February 19, 2010

And who doesn't want to be an action figure?

This is how Jesus knows he's really hit it big. I love how loaves and fishes are included.

“Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over..."

"...For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return."

Luke 6:38 Bubble Tape style gum. I really don't get it. Is it because a large quantity of gum encourages sharing? Am I supposed to tithe the church 10% of my gum? I just don't get it.

Monday, February 15, 2010

It's a trick question.

The answer is: God doesn't love you. That's what you get for touching yourself at night.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Chicks may not, but humans do.

Seriously, as tolerant as I try to be of peoples' beliefs, the whole "humans didn't come from monkeys!" thing is just so ridiculous to me. Willful ignorance just grates on me. Especially since every devout Christian I know has no beef with science.

Sometimes things are just asking for it.

I mean REALLY. How is there a way to NOT see this as horribly horribly wrong?

Friday, February 12, 2010

Savior on the half-shell: JESUS POWER.

Is there anything classier than shell art? Apparently, yes: RELIGIOUS shell art.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Are you feeling okay, Jesus? You're looking a little pasty.


Praise Ponies.

In case My Little Ponies are too risque for you, or just not Christian enough. There suckers are big sellers, too. I've wanted a set for the longest time but they're never in stock when I look.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Monday, February 8, 2010

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Can you show me on the doll where Jesus touched you?

Don't worry, Billy, we're going to make sure that our Lord and Savior doesn't touch anyone ever again. He's going to jail for a long, long time.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

In case an angel just isn't Christian enough...

A Jesus tree-topper. Because nothing says "Happy birthday, Jesus!" like shoving a tree up his pooper.

Thursday, February 4, 2010


I'm not sure what this is, but I really hope it's a manga Bible. That would be amazing.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Quick, hide! Before he sees you!

Fun fact: right temporal lobe dysfunction is often indicated by religious "visions." So if you start seeing Jesus more often, you might want to get that looked at.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010