Monday, August 16, 2010

Time to get our flair on

#1: Odd, but not much to say about it. Band-Aids seem like a weird way to invoke religious imagery.

#2: They missed an opportunity here. "Jesus transforms lives" or something like that; it'd be easy to caption!

#3: Cute idea, good execution, no complaints here.

#4: Not a bad idea, but the visuals aren't quite doing it for me. Why is the cross bleeding?

#5: A definite winner. I love the detail that went into this one.

#6: Remember that commercial? Yeah, I'm guessing no one does any more. But once again, people will religify anything and everything.

#7: Thinking outside the box on this one, I gotta give credit for that. Mountain Dew turned into the phrase "meant to die?" Impressive.

#8: Heh. I see what you did there.

#9: One of the classic parodies, and man, every time I see it, I want a peanut butter cup. Probably not the intended message.

#10: This one'd be cute for a kid's t-shirt.

#11: This one just depresses me. Why would you be proud of being bitter? And I'm pretty sure that Jesus never said anything about the right to bear arms. But, you know, it's been a while since I read that part.

#12: Well, yeah, he did that one time, but then he didn't have those holes in his feet! (It's a good thing I don't believe in Hell, because otherwise I'd be headed there so fast.)

#13: Uh...thanks? I'm not even sure what this is trying to reference; last I checked, gods are immortal. Any insights?

#14: I've seen this acronym before, and it's something else I just don't get. Like, I like frogs, but I'm not sure what on earth they have to do with religion. And weren't frogs one of the plagues on Egypt when God was uber-pissed? Why would you make that a symbol of your faith? Also, this flair is really badly executed.

#15: I get the riff on "In Jesus's name I pray," people really consider themselves to be playing sports in the name of Jesus? It wouldn't entirely surprise me, what with people who thank the J-man for winning Grammy awards and stuff.

#16: Hate to break it to you, but religion isn't a superpower. What the fuck does that even mean?

#17: Cute concept. Could be a little less blurry.

#18: Stupid. If they had said the Bible was God's LiveJournal, that would have made sense. This makes none. Just because it has the word "book" in it doesn't make Facebook an actual book.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Iz not weerd. mommy sez I has flair.

Wait, I'm not talking about that kind of flair. (Although I agree that that kitty has THAT kind of flair in spades. I want it!)

No, I'm talking about Facebook flair. For those of you not in the know, it's a little corkboard you can decorate with user-made "buttons" containing images. Like those little buttons you see on jackets, bags, what-have-you.

While Twilight and Justin Bieber seem to be the most popular flair subjects at the moment, one constant is religious flair; specifically, Christian flair. Most of it is run-of-the-mill uplifting statements about Jesus, but some of them are a bit more unusual. Maybe they're punny, maybe they're silly, maybe they're offensive, but they're all eye-catching. I've been compiling some of the ones I like the best to show you. Be warned, I plan on talking briefly about each bit of flair, I have a lot of it, and this will take some time to get through. If you don't like it, here's your money back.

Anyway, enough talking. Here's set number one:

I numbered them for our convenience, but I'm apparently too stupid to do so properly, so anticipate a lot of creativity with that.

#0 (see what I mean?): What interests me about this one is the use of the word "contagious," especially along with the "caution" and biohazard symbol. I'm guessing they're evangelists, or maybe they're just so darn delighted about their faith that they convert people just by being around them. Either way, it makes their religion seem rather like a disease. Some of you may find that apt, however unintentional it was on their part. I have no comment.

#1: This is the flair that started me collecting religious flair in the first place. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! I get the "coexist" thing - something I most emphatically agree with, though unlike most people I know, I actually include Muslims in there - "but never compromise Christ?" Does it mean "pretend to respect other faiths while silently believing they're going to Hell?" Because I hate to think that's the case, but that's about all I can get out of it.

#1.5: Salvation coupon. That's actually pretty cute. I've seen some tracts along those lines, and while they should never be used as tips for waitresses in place of cash (yes, people do that. Yes, it's extremely tacky and doesn't hide the fact that you're a cheap bastard.), I enjoy the creativity involved.

#2: We all know how much I love these product parody religious designs. I wish I could read the text above "Jesus Christ."

#3: Okay, pet peeve of mine: LEAVE RELIGION OUT OF POLITICS. Although I get the idea (the people who oppose socialize health care tend to be conservative, who are considered to be more all-around conservative, including their religion), no one should be voting on what the Bible says. It's a book that's been translated a bunch of times and heavily edited, and written by the hand of man. It's a holy book, but it's still a book. Think for your damn selves, people! *puts soapbox away for the moment*

#4: I find it hard to believe that Jesus would use MySpace. Does ANYONE still use MySpace?

#5: I have an easier time believing that Jesus would use Facebook.

#6: Do they still run those Target ads? While I agree that prayer is easy, it's probably going to be more effective to get off your ass and do something. Less easy, but faster, more reliable results.

#7: I've seen this on so many church billboard thingies. It wasn't funny the first time, and it's still not funny. Blurry text on clashing backgrounds? Not helping its case.

#8: I think they ran their point into the ground a little bit there. The repetition with the homophones I get the idea, but not a fan of this one. Also, the verse printed looks like John 11:27, which Google (my Bible is upstairs...I know sloth is a deadly sin but I just don't want to go all the way there to get it...) says reads
"Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world." Which seems like a weird choice to prove the point of the statement. It's possible I'm misreading it, though. Any ideas?

#9: More brand parodies. Love it. A little ambiguous, though, I'm surprised they didn't stick a cross in the place of one of the arrows.

#10: This one just baffles me, and is the flair that inspired me to post my collection 'o flair here. It's ultra-popular and I see it all the time, but...why? Why is a pissed-off Tweety Bird talking to Satan? What does Tweety have to do with Christianity? The sheer randomness of it just boggles my mind.

#11: Show of hands, who's making a Jesus Mii the next time they sit down to play? I know I am.

#12: My friend worked at a Bible camp for many summers, and the camp store had various t-shirts. There was one with a similar logo (though it said Jesus is my Savior, so I am a Survivor! on it), back in the time Survivor was new and, you know, relevant. Which I'm going to guess is...2000? Ish? I still have a photo of a kid wearing it. (She used to send me pics from camp from time to time so I could put faces with who she was talking about. And I never throw anything out, ever.) I should scan it for the site.

#13: I'm pretty sure God wouldn't need a nametag. Unless God really is one of us. Just a slob like one of us. Just a stranger on the bus...and now that's gonna be in my head all night. Fantastic.

#14: Can't you just hear that Jesus emitting a Fonzie-esque "Ayyyyy!"? I sure can. And it's hilarious.

#15: Sweet, simple and to the point. I have a pencil stamped with this logo, except white on black. I have a lot of religious writing supplies...I'll be featuring them eventually. I just got one with the beatitudes on it, but there are bees on it, and it says BEE-ATTITUDES! (I'm kind of a geek. I know.)

#16: A better version of #5. It's really too bad flair has to be so tiny; clearly a lot of work went into some of these.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed these. There are nine more coming, possibly more depending on how many more I find between now and then. I don't really seek them, they just turn up in the "newly popular" and "most popular" sections regularly.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Jesus is coming! Quick, look busy!

It was great of him to let us know ahead of time. I'll make sure to clear my calendar.

Friday, August 6, 2010

In keeping with the spirit of yesterday's post

Let the crossovers continue.

Apparently there are such things as clown ministries. And it's, like, a common thing. I DO NOT LIKE THIS ONE BIT.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A pair of firsts.

1. Our first-ever video post!

2. Our first-ever crossover post!

And why is that?

Because, folks, this is a video of a scary clown puppet who is sad but feels happy after he accepts Jesus into his heart. Ever feel like you have proof that God thinks you as an individual are really, really awesome? I can't think of any other explanation for why a scary religious clown might exist. And to add an extra level, this "Gary" kid looks a lot like my friend's son. Except my friend's son would never talk to a clown about Jesus. James is way too cool for that.

Enjoy. And a mega-thanks to Lindsay for finding this!