Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Flair. FLAIR.

I'm getting tired of flair. Except not. Because I love flair.

1. If you can't make it out, it's a photo of a baby gator riding on its parent with the caption "I'm in Christ. Hear me ROAR!" WTF? Just, wtf? How can a baby reptile be "in Christ?" What does this have to do with religion? Explain it to me; I just don't get it.

2. This is just awkwardly phrased and poorly made. Seriously, have some pride.

3. Slightly better, but also not great. Though I wouldn't consider Twilight on the same demonic level as Harry Potter - the author is Mormon, Edward won't fuck Bella before they get married, Rosalie is apparently pro-life (I don't know, I read the first two books, hated them and gave up on the series)...I dunno, I think Twilight would be Jesus-approved. In the sense that it's not evil, I mean. I don't think Jesus would read that crap.

4. Head. Fucking. Desk. Are people really this stupid? Really? Do they really think "global warming" means "the weather feels hotter?" Realllllly?

5. What the hell is going on here? I'm just...what?

6. A couple of pet peeves here. I hate people attributing quotations to God. God did not say that; YOU did. And do people really think that there won't be violence in schools as long as prayer is allowed? Nothing is that simple. And God's a pretty violent being if I remember my Old Testament.

7. Oh, come on now. Sports teams aren't false idols. Does God really disapprove of sports? I thought God loved us and wanted us to be happy.

8. This just brings up weird mental images. I don't see God as being quite so...hands-on.

9. So...wait, are you saying I'm a shitty person? Or are you saying that God will love us no matter how bad we suck? Because both of those things seem like a pretty depressing message. I mean, it's nice to think that God wouldn't hold fuckups against us, but if we're loved, forgiven, etc anyway, why be good? I don't mean going on a murderous rampage (unless they really deserve it), but it seems like it would make it a lot easier to sin on Saturday and ask for forgiveness on Sunday instead of defying temptation. But hey. Maybe I'm just a bad person.

10. Not much to say about this one; I just found it funny.

11. I still don't get why Jesus and God supposedly love America so damn much. Don't get me wrong; I like America. God knows I think we fuck up a lot, but we're founded on some decent principles. But it seems to be a common idea that we're a preferred country in God's eyes. I find it obnoxious. God bless America, fuck everyone else.

12. This looks like gay porn. Next.

13. It seems like they missed an opportunity to 'shop the Burger King into Jesus. But that would probably cross the line into sacrilege.

14. Trying a little too hard, but a nice effort.

15. A friend of mine refers to Christianity as a "death cult." This...kind of makes me see his point.

16. Now this is definitely too much of a stretch. Not everything has to be religified, and if you can't do it well, don't do it at all. Does anyone even still watch CSI? Is it still on?

17. I can't get enough Catholic Star Wars jokes.

18. Cute punchline, but the setup is awkward. I can imagine how hard it would be to make it work, but maybe that means it should've been left alone in the first place.


Sadako said...

Dude. (Or, um, not, because maybe you're a dudette.) I LOVE the image in number one. It's one of my favorite things ever. The Jesus people got to it, though?! It's freaking adorable when it's just the baby gator getting a gator back ride.

coulrophobic agnostic said...

I'm female, but I do indeed answer to "dude" XD

It really is an adorable image. They just look so HAPPY. I guess I'd be happy too, if I were a baby alligator.