I Just Realized How Phallic "Saggy Clown Volcano" Is... And I'm OK With That - Ever see a cake so *deliberately* confusing that you're sure you're missing something obvious? I mean, look at this thing: Someone went through a massiv...
Monday, September 6, 2010
I'm starting to never want to look at flair again.
1. Really? Your "experience" of believing in an invisible 2000-year-old dead carpenter is more credible than Darwin's well-crafted and much-studied scientific theory? I'm not an atheist, but shit like this annoys me. There is just no reason to dismiss evolution simply because you believe in God.
2. Do they pay people to sit around and think of these? If they do, I want in.
3. Heh. Cute, though slightly ominous. I never did like Heroes, though god knows I tried.
4. So do they still make YooHoo? Because I loved that stuff, but I never see it any more.
5. Again, my biggest annoyance - the idea that to not be extremely conservative is somehow anti-Christian. Makes me want to get one of those "Jesus was a liberal" bumper stickers, except I don't have a car.
6. This looks like a still out of a movie Joel and his robots would rip into for an hour and a half. I get that it's supposed to be Jesus looking down on the world (possibly weeping for us? I can't quite tell), but it's so freaking creepy and bizarre. You know, they should resurrect MST3K. There are a lot of shitty current movies. (I know about RiffTrax, but it's just not the same.)
7. Cute. Not only do the words match up (at least the first ones) they worked a song title in there. I hope whoever writes this stuff got paid extra for that.
8. That misplaced comma annoys me. I googled the Wonderbread logo to see if it was a design thing, but no, it's just someone's inability to use punctuation.
9. Every time I look at this I think he must be listening to Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.
10. It's really hard to take seriously a message that's meant to be intimidating when it comes with a picture of toast. It really, really is.
11. Again, the "actually IN LOVE with Jesus" vibe rears its ugly head.
12. The cake, however, is.
13. Jesus is going to eat that baby.
14. Okay, "my" Jesus? I don't think Jesus belongs to one specific person. Otherwise Heaven would be awfully lonely. Also, it took me a minute to put my finger on what the design reminded me of. Then it hit me:
15. Dude, the guy died on the cross for your freaking sins. I'm not saying you owe him, exactly, but it might be nice if you gave him a little space sometimes. Even Jesus needs his "me" time.
16. I...find this really creepy. The concept of "Daddy's girl" always seems vaguely incestuous to me anyway.
17. I never would have thought of this one, but it seems so obvious in hindsight.
18. WHAT THE HELL?! GAH!