Saturday, September 4, 2010

I return bearing flair.

Yeah, I still exist. Just busy. But I have more flair!

#0: Sometimes the intentionally funny jokes are indeed the funniest. This cracks me up.

#1: I don't quite get what's supposed to be "just that easy" here. Accepting Jesus? Are they trying to imply that believing in Jesus makes life easier?

#2: I really hope this is on a dead-end street. Otherwise the accidents that would cause would end up sending a whole lot of people to Jesus a lot sooner than they'd anticipated.

#3: Oh yeah. Being a Christian makes you such a rebel. Isn't something like 33% of the world's population supposedly Christian? backs me up and honestly, while I have no idea how trustworthy such sources are, or how such a thing can even be point is, Christianity is pretty damn popular.

#4: Yeah, take a quick scan of the Westboro protest lines. Calling yourself a Christian doesn't take away ugliness, inside or out.

#5: So if people with cancer just pray really hard, they'll be all better? I find this offensive on a bunch of levels. I'm sure they mean it more as a "cure of the world's ills" message, but even that's pretty offensive considering how many people use Christianity as a reason to treat people like shit.

#6: The Duggar family shouts "Nike!" when a scantily clad female walks by so the boys all know to look at the floor so they won't be tempted to sin. I'm tempted to buy two dozen of these shirts and send them to Arkansas. (Though I think for the parents, the traditional "just do it" slogan is more appropriate.)

#7: So...what does that make the other two-thirds of adult males in the world? For that matter, what was Adam? He was created before he wasn't really the first man. What was he, then?

#8: Really? God doesn't have better things to do than be the middleman for peoples' relationships?

#9: I sincerely hope that this is a real church sign. I've seen some funny ones, but this one tickles me in a truly unique way.

#10: I know this is supposed to be an iPod, but every time I look at it I think it's a pregnancy test.

#11: We've already covered this concept. Christianity is not brave or rebellious.

#12: The phrasing and the placement of the cross make me feel like this is meant to comfort Christian men with small weiners. I can't think of another way to interpret it.

#13: Okay, I find this creepy. Like it's just one step away from that FAITH+1 song, "Wanna get down on my knees and start pleasin' Jesus, wanna feel His salvation all over my face."

#14: Man, they don't even try to keep these tie-in thingies up to date any more, do they?

#15: The person on the left looking like she's praying for constipation relief. Prayer works? That sentiment seems like it's leading into "Prayer works so, you know, no need to try to work for what you want." Prayer helps might be a better phrasing.

#16: Does this flair assume that the other person is a nonChristian? I can't tell if that's the innuendo, or if it's calling out people who claim to be Christians but don't really believe in it, those who were raised in the church and just assume they're taken care of, without even contemplating their beliefs. (And to answer their question, yes. Yes I do.)

#17: "Paying the tab" seems a pretty flippant way of describing it. It's not a play on words, particularly, so I can't think of a reason for phrasing it that way. It annoys me.

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